I don’t know what it is. I just can’t help it. I have to stop. I just have to. I don’t know if it’s because I would want someone to do it for my dog or because I feel like I have some “social responsibility”. When I see a dog along the road I have to at least try.

The last time I stopped was in rural Virginia and the little guy ended up coming home with me. Ryfo now lives with my parents because I don’t have the needed living space for him in Nashville. So when I came across this pretty girl (pictured above) I knew I couldn’t keep her.

She and 5 other dogs was wandering highway 60 in McCracken county KY. The car on the opposite side of the highway from me nearly hit them. The pack kept buzzing back and forth across the median. On of the dogs was limping and I knew I had to do something. I did a U-turn and called out to them. They barely looked at me and crossed the highway again. I turned around again and drove up right behind them on the shoulder. The only one that stopped and waited for me was this pretty girl. She was soaking wet from the rain earlier that day and had thistles all over her coat. I knelt down and reached for her and she welcomed my touch.

I called animal control. (Thank goodness for smartphones!) I stood there with Pretty Girl for a good while. She seemed to be warming up to me. My car was still running, but each time I started to walk away from her she would walk away too. I didn’t want to lose her so I picked her up and put her in my car. She was shaking and I could tell she was scared. For a brief moment I saw her tail wag when I think she realized she was in a car. I continued to pet her, though she didn’t take up my invitation to lay down on my lap. I pulled her feed over the edge of the folded down back seat and place my pillow under her chin. She rested her head and looked peaceful. It felt so good to feel like I finally had her trust. We spent close to an hour together before animal control came.

An older gentleman took a leash and put it around her neck. Pretty Girl looked confused and as he tugged on her. I spoke softly to her and pulled her out of the back seat. She was terrified. The man seriously had to drag her to the truck. It was devastating for me to watch. I just spent an hour working up to build this animal’s trust and felt like I was betraying her. I know I probably did the “right” thing but it still doesn’t mean it felt good. I cried for nearly an hour when I got back into my car.

Trust is such a hard thing to earn be it animals or people. It should be devastating when we break someone’s trust. It’s going to be a long road to re-gain it if we’ll get it back at all. Today was a huge reminder of that for me. Hopefully someone else will fall in love with Pretty Girl and she will give them her trust again.

8 months ago  /  0 notes

Abandon Kansas. Where to begin. Up until recently the AK guys were more of acquaintances. This month though I’ve been able to spend more time with them than the year and a half since I first met them. The first time I crossed paths with these guys was at the Harrisburg Mall on Jeremy’s birthday in 2009. My friend Laura in Arkansas (I met Laura when I ran The Wedding’s street team from 2006-2008) connected the guys with me when they were touring through the area. AK had stayed with her in Fort Smith several times before and this was their first time (or one of the first) touring through Pennsylvania.

I forget the exact reason we met at the mall. I think I was working at the horse barn where I taught lessons and couldn’t invite them over or something. Plus I think  my little sister was graduating from high school that day too. Either way something was going on. When I found out it was Jeremy’s birthday I insisted I treat them to dinner, which I had to twist their arm to let me (sarcasm?) They had two nights in the area because they had the next day off. The first night they stayed with a guy they met at the show. Turned out the kid lived in kind of a dumpy place. I went over to meet them on their day off and there were pizza boxes and trash everywhere in the kitchen and I don’t think they had any real furniture. The kid was insisting the guys play an acoustic set for his friends that he invited over. Towards mid evening Jeremy huddles the guys and myself over and says, “There are two things I don’t want tonight,” he thought for a moment and continued, “Three things I don’t want tonight. One - I don’t want to play a set, Two - I don’t want to stay here tonight,” another pause, “Three - Brad, I don’t want you having sex tonight.” Jeremy has as unusual sense of humor (In case the last statement brought up any concerns, Brad wasn’t “at risk” for having sex) The guys nonchalantly packed their things and headed to my house. My first run in with them was pretty brief, but I new in the short time I spent with them that they were probably some of the most genuine guys I had come across. Jeremy has a unique ability to remember so many names and faces. It really is incredible. 

The next time our paths crossed I was apartment hunting in Southern California in January of 2010. I was wanting to move there to begin working more with RYFO. I drug, (almost literally had to drag) Nick and Matt from RYFO to the show to see Abandon Kansas, Children 18:3 and Banner Hill. Loading out after the show we all chatted and stacked chairs for the church. Matt, Nick and I followed the caravan of 15-passengers to grab some food. I don’t remember if there was a tour between January and Purple Door in August. The day after Purple Door they also played a show with The Wedding south of Baltimore MD. I made the trip down there mainly because it had been over a year since I had seen The Wedding boys and was pleasantly surprised to see that the AK guys had also been added to the show. Grabbed food at WaWa (see a pattern here?) prayed with AK and The Wedding and parted ways again until April 2011. 

On the 12th the guys were just passing through the Nashville area and I met up with them at Mafiaozas. That was probably the most quality time I had spent with the guys. They had invited just about everyone they new in the area to join them. They definitely packed out the patio by the fire pit. I mentioned to Brian that they sure know a lot of people and he admitted sometimes it feels like too many. We had some laughs and Brian being a gentleman walked me back to my car at the end of the night. 

This past weekend they were back in Nashville playing at Rocketown with Showbread and Quiet Science. (Great show by the way) The guys had been through quite a roller coaster of a tour. They were supporting their first full-length record on Gotee Records and were headlining the tour. They had these few shows that were packed out and lots of energy, but the dates between I think got to their spirits. It had been a humbling experience for them. I think it’s a tough realization when you’ve been working at something for so many years, get to what should be a huge mile marker in your career and not see the fruit you expected for the amount of labor you put forth. It had been a little discouraging for some of the guys. I could tell they were tired. They didn’t really seem like themselves. The day after the show we met up again for Kansas City vs Nashville Women’s Roller Derby. A first for me and a few of the other guys in the band. Jeremy was familiar with it. He had gone to competitions in Wichita. Chet’s friend was on the KC team which sparked this interesting outing and it was an experience for sure. After roller derby, I connected the guys with a host home in Birmingham which was on the way to their next show in Mississippi.  

If you get a chance to see them live, please drop whatever you were suppose to do that night, drive 5 hours if you have to and see them. They are absolutely gifted musiciand and the honestly want to meet you. I’m always amazed at how many names and faces they remember, how they genuinely care for God’s people and desire to see them live fulfilled lives. That’s probably why they’ve partnered with Compassion International for the past few years. Feel free to love Abandon Kansas, because Abandon Kansas loves you and that’s 100% true.

1 year ago  /  5 notes

Another collision with the Sleeping With Sirens guys. I’ve had so many amazing experiences with these guys over the past year and I’ve so enjoyed watching them continually transform into deeper men of God. In the spring of 2010 Confide, some old friends of mine had two shows in Pennsylvania one was about 15 minutes from my house. I asked Joel Piper if they needed a place to stay for those two nights and he said another friend of theirs bought them a hotel. So I asked if one of the other bands need a place to stay and he sent Sleeping With Sirens our way. They each claimed a bed or sofa and we made a big breakfast for them in the morning. 

The second night after the show the Confide boys and I had our usual prayer circle and as we were praying Kellin from SWS walked by and heard us. Then the next morning Kellin asked if I only prayed with bands I knew were Christian. I told him I offered prayer to anyone, but it wasn’t something I required or anything. I asked if they would like to pray before they left and he said absolutely! I was stunned at his excitement, if far surpassed any band’s enthusiasm for prayer. I found out Kellin was also into reading so I quick ran up stairs and gathered all my books about spiritual topics and told him he could take one. Of all the books he selected Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper. His face looked like a light bulb went on in his head and he then ran to the van. He came back with a book for me that his pastor had given him. Justin saw what was going on and jumped in on the action. He opened his book bag and offered a boo to me called Ask Me Anything by J. Budziszewski (author of How to Stay Christian in College).

At this point it was time to leave and we huddled around for a quick prayer. Kellin surprised me. He did something that no other band had or has done since. He prayed for me and my house, that hearts would be changed and musicians would be saved! I was so moved!  They guys bolted out of the house and wouldn’t you know they left a bunch of stuff behind, probably more than every band that’s stayed with us combined.

They were coming back through the area in 2 weeks so rather than spending $20 to mail it to them and hope it gets to the right place at the right time I drove to Baltimore 2 weeks later. This was an interesting night. I was standing around talking to one of them members when a few people approached us. I’m guessing they had met on a previous tour. They looked at the member I was chatting with and held out a brown bag. “Where do you want to smoke?” He responded, “Take it in the van just a second.” He then paused and looked at me with almost a confused face and said, “You’re not going to hate me are you?” I honestly didn’t know what to say to him. Did he really think I was going to lecture him about marijuana? The only thing I could think to say was, “It’s whatever, I have other friends that smoke.” I just softly rolled my eyes and walked inside the venue. As I began thinking about that moment, that brief moment of conviction for him, I realized how powerful the Holy Spirit is. Because the Spirit is in me and I was standing near him at that moment he understood smoking was not something that he should be doing. I didn’t have to say a word. He knew what I thought of it by his response. 1) He didn’t invite me in the van with them 2) He asked if our friendship would change because of his decision. That’s pretty heavy. That particular member went MIA the rest of the night and the rest of us prayed without him present.  It was that night that my love for SWS and one particular member grew. I would do just about anything for these guys. 

A few months went by before I saw them again in the fall in Philadelphia. The same member had brought along company that provided alcohol and enticed a few of the other band members. 3 members I could tell were annoyed with the situation and one advised it was time for them to warm up for their set. Those drinking ignored his comment and I followed him back into the venue. Later that night before we gathered for our departing prayer Kellin expressed they were facing a difficult decision regarding the band and their touring future. I had a hunch of what it was about but didn’t probe much further about it. We prayed and I spent the rest of the night talking to Josh and David (at the time) in The Crimson Armada. (Also phenomenal dudes). 

Last week Sleeping With Sirens stopped in Nashville and as I had predicted had a new member. The guy who’s lifestyle didn’t seem to match everyone else’s had been asked to leave and joined another band that better fit his priorities at the time. I knew it was a very difficult decision but I’m so proud of all of them for addressing the issue and continuing to use their musical talents on the road. Kellin and Justin had gotten engaged since I had seen them last and I had promised Kellin I would get him a book to help with the transition into marriage and fatherhood (his fiance has 2 beautiful boys). I gave him DIsciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughes.

They came back to the house for a late night home cooked meal. I met their new merch guy (also) named Justin. Turns out he and Justin H. and Kellin had been in a praise band at church before starting Sirens. Later in the night as we were talking one of the guys slipped an F-word and a bunch of the guys (in a light hearted manner) threw down their arms in disbelief exclaiming “Really dude. You had to use that word, Come on man what the heck?” They probably carried this on for a minute or two. I started laughing as he started to apologize for his language, blaming it on being tired. To be honest though the cursing doesn’t bother me so much. I can imagine wholesome speech is a hard habit to keep on the road with bands that use profanity in every sentence.

As they all left the house I could tell the were back on track and learning more about Jesus and were finally in a place where they could freely and openly discuss their faith. 

1 year ago  /  5 notes

Last weekend A Sequence of Ghosts drove through Nashville. Even though they were only passing through we still had just enough time to catch up and grab some lunch after church at the Anchor Fellowship. The last time I saw them was in September when they were touring through Pennsylvania with another band (*TB). During that tour ASOG found out that TB had a bad run-in with a Christian band (*CB). Apparently TB had been scheduled to play at a church with CB under the condition that they would not swear on stage. One of TB’s songs had the F word in it so in order to oblige with the policy of the church TB didn’t say the curse word into the microphone. However their crowd shouted it just the same. CB came up to TB and basically rung them out about it. TB was peeved to say the least.  They were furious at the accusation and because CB was a christian band they associated their actions with all other Christians. 

ASOG had a huge opportunity to counter act the band’s previous experience. In the car on the way back to my house a few of the guys expressed that TB was starting to open up to them and have spiritual discussions. ASOG was thrilled with what the Holy Spirit was doing. TB also came back to my house and for the first time on the tour didn’t have to sleep in their van. The next morning we all had a huge breakfast and before I saw them off I asked if they would like to pray with me and ASOG. A few of the guys joined us! I was absolutely thrilled! What a great proof of the Holy Spirit’s softening of their heart towards knowing God. 

Fast forward to this past weekend. While we were walking into Applebee’s for lunch Zane brought up TB and looked at me and said, “Thank you so much for being such a good host to them. They talked about it a lot.”  What great news! God used hospitality to leave an imprint on their experience with our home. God has His hand in all things! God is good, all the time!

1 year ago  /  2 notes

(Creation - by Lewis Bowman)

After high school most young adults take the path to academia and enlightenment. They share a small “cell” with another person and are thrown into life without restraint and without supervision. Also planted on a college campus are ministries like Intervarsity, Campus Crusade, and Young Life who seek out students that desire Christian fellowship and guidance, but wouldn’t necessarily find it on their own as well as students that are hurting and searching for something beyond themselves. 

What happens when a young adult doesn’t choose to follow the norm of high education? More specifically what if they choose to take their high school band on tour? What if they don’t have the motivation to continually grow their faith? I would like to pose an answer to these questions. 

I met my friends *Luke* and *Matt* at one of their shows several weeks ago. They told me how they’ve been watching their other 3 band mates slip away. These 5 men had started the band with the intentions of full-blown ministry. Three of the young men in the band were new to faith and as their time on the road increased their apathy and party habits also increased. Luke and Matt began to grow weary. They felt they were constantly trying to watch what their band mates were doing and continue to meet and offer counsel to fans at shows. The felt God was calling them to minister to fans and the burden of their bands mates was hindering their efforts. Luke, Matt and I talked for a solid hour in a city alley way by their van. They told me they wanted to quit the band and find other ministry opportunities. I felt a serious loss. How can we as the body of Christ better enable men and women like Luke and Matt who desire to see their band mates grow in a deeper relationship with God and continue their own ministry while feeling fulfilled themselves?

A few years ago The Anchor Fellowship had launched a program called Church at a Distance. It has since dissolved, but the mission of the program was to train individuals as tour managers and light/sound techs and send them out in a pastoral role for bands. What I would love to see/start is a program that will send out road pastors to artists who are new to faith and connect local pastors to musicians well established in their faith. Local pastors can then minister to the band and also connect with any fans that may have approached that band about faith or God. For some reason fans love to share deep secrets with musicians. The artist can of course pray for that fan, but what if the artist could then say “Hey, there’s a church around here that would love to help you on your faith journey and the pastor is here tonight.”  There would be two great ministry opportunities for the local pastor.

I really want to begin funding and writing curriculum for road pastors. I think this will be my next endeavor. Lord willing.

1 year ago  /  0 notes

I met Josh when I was competing at Boston University with my track team. He had a Christian clothing line sweatshirt on and I instantly knew I had to say something to him. I had been so frustrated with the lack of faith at the college I was attending in New Jersey. No one was interested in Christianity let a lone the Christian music sub-culture. I guess you could say I was desperate for someone with some kind of identification to the Christian music sub-culture. We chatted for a bit swapped profile links and parted ways; that was winter of 2006/2007. Our “friendship” was maintained by cyberspace with very minimal communication.

Fast forward to late 2009. I was scanning Indie Vision Music and saw a post about a new band called The Crimson Armada. Checked out the link and wouldn’t you know that Josh had joined the band. I was thrilled to see a familiar face. It wouldn’t be until the Scream the Prayer tour that I would actually get to see him again face to face. I doubted he would remember me, but still hoped I could jog his memory. Josh surprised me. I was standing at the merch table of another band on the tour as he was about to walk by. I stepped out in front of him and blocked his path. “I doubt you remember me, but…”

“Jess! Boston University right?”

I was blown away! Our friendship was rekindled in a matter of a few seconds. We caught up later that night and I prayed for him and his guys before they left for the night. I saw him again when The Crimson Armada toured with Sleeping with Sirens (See picture below). It was that meeting that I realized the amazing heart this man has. Josh deeply desires to be used as a vessel for God. He and his friend and band mate David would jump start my desire to help artists maintain and establish their faith and meaningful relationship while on the road. But I’ll save that for a later post. :)

1 year ago  /  0 notes

Got to see Sleeping with Sirens (pictured above) and The Crimson Armada tonight in Philadelphia. Always a delight

1 year ago  /  0 notes